Fishing tales. Colleagues


I made my way with a fishing rod through a thicket of bushes along the bank of a forest river. Having got out of the bushes onto the path, he quickly moved in the direction from which the noise was heard.

About a hundred meters later I found myself on a narrow clearing and carefully began to descend along it to the river. When I heard the gurgling of water on the rift, I again climbed into the thicket of bushes, from there I went down a little and, pushing the branches apart, looked out ... In a fork, on the trunk of a huge tree bent over the water, a huge bear settled down.

He had his back to me, and I could not see what he was doing. Therefore, slowly, slowly, literally crawling, I crawled out of the bushes and, now and then looking around to where the clubfoot was, walked around him so that he was in front of me. Probably, I was in vain being careful, since the bear did not pay attention to anything and, without stopping, looked into the water.

It can be seen that he was not very comfortable sitting on the trunk, because from time to time he fidgeted, obviously making himself more comfortable. "What makes him feel this rather awkward position?" - I thought involuntarily. The answer came about ten minutes later, when the bear rose slightly, tensed and fell into the water with a crash. And he plunged headlong. And having emerged, he immediately began to madly beat his paws on the water.

When he stopped, a rather weighty fish flashed in his paws with silver scales! So here's the thing: it turns out we are colleagues - fishermen. Probably, the beast should, holding the prey in its paws, get to the shore and eat it there. He decided to do it right in the water. But as soon as he brought the fish to its mouth, it twisted, slipped out of its paws and fell into the water.

However, contrary to my expectation, the bathing did not cool his hunting fervor, and he, without any hesitation, climbed the tree again. Thus the fishing continued. The beast gazed at the water and froze in immobility. Time passed, and the result was zero. We must pay tribute to the patience of Toptygin the fisherman: he did not want to come to terms with bad luck. And he continued to wait.

Finally, fortune smiled at him ... Seeing potential prey, the bear at first became alert, then, without delay, again plunged headlong into the water. And he emerged with a kilogram bream. This time, the fisherman did not repeat the previous mistake - he did not eat fish in the water, but quickly got ashore and quickly swallowed the catch with a loud rumbling.

But what is such an insignificant trophy for such a hefty beast? Almost nothing. And I thought that the clubfoot would continue fishing. However, the beast acted differently. Probably, he decided that, as the saying goes: "The game is not worth the candle," and therefore climbed the slope and instantly disappeared into the coastal bush. So the bear fishing ended ...

Alexander Nosov


Fishing Jokes

Date of publication: April 27, 2016. Category: Column of humor.

Since ancient times, fishing has been one of the most popular hobbies of men, and not only all over the world, and fishing tales and anecdotes have long become legendary. In this collection you will find only the funniest anecdotes about fishing and fishermen.

***

1. While cleaning the twentieth fish in the kitchen, the wife irritably says to her
to the fisherman:
- As a human being, I ask you! On a fishing trip DRINK VODKA.

2. The men gathered for a fishing trip. and then there is only one problem - they don't know how much vodka to take. - Let's take 3 bottles!
- Oh, come on! The last time we took three, so we lost our fishing rods ..
- Well then, four!
- Yeah, but last time we took four, so we lost the bus ...
- Well then, let's take five, with only one condition - don't take fishing rods, don't get off the bus.

3. The wife gathers her husband on a fishing trip:
- Kitty, bring a big trout. If there are no trout in the store,
buy carp.

4. A wife who went fishing with her husband tells her friend:
- You see, I did everything as he taught me. But I have everything
it didn't work out as it should. I spoke too loudly, bra-
la the wrong bait, threw in the wrong place, pecked at me wrong
and hooked, of course, not like that. But in the end I caught more fish
than he! How it happened, I don’t know!

5. Give a man a fish and he will be full for one day. Teach a man to fish - and he
all day will sit in a boat and drink beer.

6. Sitting, it means, one man, fishing. An hour sits, two - does not bite.
He is bored and cold. Well, he opened a bottle of vodka, poured 150 into a marching glass, and just got ready to do it with a feeling of it, mommy, to eat it - he’s biting! Well, the man fussed, so awkwardly hooked, and a tiny crucian carp straight into his glass - splash! The peasant so disgustedly threw out the crucian, swallowed vodka without a buzz, planted a new bait, threw a fishing rod. And then it flooded: pike perch, bream, pike! The man barely has time to pull it out.
And here lies a huge catfish in his basket and says:
- Well, carp, well, bitch, well, a provocateur! poured, he said, then released.

7. Fishermen are sitting by the river. One boasts:
- Imagine, today I dreamed that I was sitting on the shore with Sophia Loren, there was no one around.
- Well, what's next.
- And as if I caught a perch in three kilograms.
- And she.
- And she doesn’t bite.

8. A fisherman is sitting on the shore. A peasant approaches him and is curious:
- Well, how did you catch what?
-Yes, I caught one.
-Well, how, big?
-Yes a kilo 70 will be.
-Show me!
-Yes, I threw it into the river.
-What for?!
- Yes, he also asked everything: caught what? caught what?

9. Returning from fishing, the husband asks:
- Is the cat at home?
- Come in, do not be afraid, I bought him sprat in the store.

10. Two came to the river bank. They began to decide what to do first - to put on the network or drink vodka. We decided to have a drink first. In the morning they wake up and see that the net has been set up in an open field. One to the other:
- You fool, where did you put the net ?!
- Where. Where you rowed, that's where I put it.


Ural legends about burbot

Our people do not like everything slippery, large-mouthed and clumsy, take the same catfish, which was nicknamed "the devil's horse." Burbot did not receive a personal nickname, but there are legends about its survivability in the Urals. They say that the filling of whole gutted burbot itself crawls out of the pie in the Russian stove, lays down next to about 30 centimeters and is quietly baked there. In fairness, we note that the largest burbot will not fit in the oven, and young fish are great for pie.

Another story endows burbots with the amazing ability to crawl from the river into the field in the early foggy morning and stick to the udders of grazing cows. And if you have to crawl past a dead animal, the burbot will not miss the opportunity to feast on carrion.

There is some truth in every bike. Burbots are really extremely voracious, especially in the fall before spawning, and can eat water carrion, and being caught in a common net, they continue hunting for small fish there. Previously, burbots were squeamishly thrown out of the nets, but today every fisherman knows this fish and considers it a desirable prey.


Boker Beauty Fixed

Small, fixed blade knives are always in demand. Many people want to use them as EDC knives. At the same time, the knife should be small, neat, gentlemanly. After all, it will be worn every day in the city, and not used in a raid on zombies.

The Boker Beauty Fixed with a Damascus blade fulfills these requirements. The length of the knife is nearly 15 centimeters. The design is reliable - the handle and the blade are one piece.

The bolsters are also made of Damascus, which goes well with the wood of the handle. This tree is a separate conversation: the massaranduba breed, although it sounds like an oak, but surpasses it in hardness and beauty, even immediately without processing. The wood is so dense and hard that it sinks in water, it is not without reason that it is popular among the inhabitants of the Caribbean, where it is called the "bull tree."

A neatly cut notch on the butt serves both as a design element and a comfortable finger rest. The knife is completed with a lanyard and no less skillfully made leather sheath.

Ron Lake's folding knives

Yes, yes, it is "knives", because it is difficult to choose one. All of them, if not works of art, then products of the highest degree of craftmanship. Judge for yourself. Ron Lake has been one of the best knife lovers for decades, specializing in folding knives. Beauty is not only about the appearance, decorative solutions, but also the concept. Ron Lake calls it "Inter-Frame", which means that fragile materials and elements are combined with the strength of steel, and this is implemented in such a way that there is no need to be afraid of damaging anything.

Also, Ron often uses a tail-lock - a lock with a lever at the back of the handle, which holds the blade in the folded state and releases it when opened. Lake knives are quirky, but extremely reliable, and their quality is certainly not worth worrying about. These are, if not the most beautiful knives in the world, then very close to this.

Nessmuk is a wonderful man and a knife he created

Nessmuk was originally just a name ("Wild Drake"), which also became a literary pseudonym, which the Indians gave to George Washington Sears, a traveler, writer and popularizer of solo canoe trips who lived in the 19th century. Fairly Nessmuk is considered not only the father of modern "ultralight camping", but also all sorts of survivalist bushcraft. He had an interesting concept for three camping tools: a double-sided hatchet, a medium knife (rather small for Americans), and a two-piece folding knife.

So, this knife is called nessmuk for medium-sized hikes, with a shape characteristic of skinners and cutting knives - with a cutting edge line that has a noticeable curvature. A knife of this type ran counter to the concept of an American knife - large, heavy, powerful. That did not stop me from gaining recognition in the past and now. This is a real all-rounder - skinning, boning, and carving knife at the same time.

It is produced by both individual craftsmen and eminent companies. Now "nessmuk" is called, as well as copies of the original, and all knives in this style, similar to it. The knife is beautiful with its atypical shape and concept. It has become so integrated into the history of knife making that it exists both in its natural incarnation and in the form of exclusive products, distinguished by high-quality materials and rich finishes, which is a tribute to the creator and his brainchild.

Fly like a butterfly

When it comes to the beauty of knives, one cannot help but remember the butterfly knife. Not only admirers believe that the most beautiful knives are butterflies, but everyone else cannot but recognize their ingenious in simplicity technical solution, the physics of movements generated by inventive mechanics, the grace of forms, without negative consequences coexisting with simplicity.

What can we say about those balisongs, the creators of which deliberately created a work of art. Of course, there are also a lot of fans of authentic butterflies from the Philippines or the classics of Benchmade, but in the case of one or another variant of Protech FlyFather Balisong, the controversy falls silent and exclamations of admiration are heard.

The two-piece Protech Flyfather is typically made from anodized titanium, which color depends on the model. There is a wonderful knife in which it ranges from blue to blue.

The blade is made of stainless steel 154 CM, the shape is graceful and predatory - "spear point". Of course, no trivial washers - just perfectly fitted bearings to guarantee perfect flipping. Protech FlyFather Are some of the most beautiful butterfly knives in the world. Therefore, it is almost impossible to get such a balisong perfection in your collection.

Some kind of Rob Dalton knife

Yes, yes, I want to finish somehow, not on a serious note, otherwise such lists are often somewhat pretentious and pompous. But Rob Dalton allows you to combine frivolity, exclusivity, and interesting models in combination with a considerable cost. The master has a distinct sense of humor. Knives are made in the form of crucifixes, brass knuckles or have a completely unusual design, as if they were some kind of Halloween toys.

The variety also applies to the technical device - there are folding knives with various types of locks and folding knives - frontal and side discharge.

Humor can also be in the details - so, one of his most famous knives (which became so thanks to his participation in the film "The Dark Knight" Nolan, where he was the favorite of the main villain - Joker) - Dalton Cupid OTF got this name because their series was made for Valentine's Day.

The exclusivity of Rob's knives is due to their small batch size: as soon as they are sold out, they automatically receive the status of collectible and even cult. And in the case of Cupid, it is also an interesting cinematic story, and the beauty of a technological knife with no frills.

In conclusion, I would like to say that in the company we believe that everyone has their own most beautiful knife. It's just a knife that you like and hand. It's like the "best knife" - it's just the one you have with you. And the worst is when you need it, and there is nothing at hand. You can look for the most beautiful knife in the world for a long time - study photos, read descriptions and listen to tales, but the truth generated by practice and subjective feelings will tell you your best option.


Designer cards

They differ in illustrations and have a choice of subjects. For example, with facts from the field of history - with such cards you will not only diversify your leisure time, but also broaden your horizons.

A party with friends will complement playing cards for adults with recipes for alcoholic cocktails, facts and anecdotes 18+.

Souvenir cards our developments will be an addition to a gift for an avid gambler. Among them: cards in the bank, for fishing, humorous, historical themes and much more.

You can also buy playing cards with delivery from a warehouse across the Russian Federation and the CIS (Moscow, St. Petersburg, Yekaterinburg, Novosibirsk, Minsk, Astana, etc.). If you have any questions, call 8-800-234-1000 and get a free consultation from our specialists.


Watch the video: Fishing Tales Season 3 Episode 2 - A masterclass from the Duke


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